Basic dating skills for introverts…
Are introverts just bad at dating?
I’ve seen that question posed when I was scrolling through Reddit, looking at introverts forums to get a feel for where other people are at and how that relates to my life experience.
The answer is no.
At least, we don’t have to be. I would put it like this;
Introverts are naturally below average, but have greater capacity for improvement. Thus we can become above average easier than others.
Above average is really all you need to be. It’s great to be a player who gets dozen of girls if that’s what you want to do, but the big increase in quality of life is when you go from below to above average.
Become above average and you will never struggle to find girls to go on dates with, or struggle finding a girlfriend. Sure, you might not ever pull a girl back from the club every weekend, but honestly, you quickly get into diminishing returns.
Just getting the skills to meet people and be comfortable doing so, and then being able to attract and connect with cute girls is a realistic and achievable goal for anybody to strive for. That’s what we’re looking at here.
The first of the 5 points comes from a commenter’s question about how to not be boring when talking to a girl.
This is a common problem for guys who are shy and introverted. They second guess themselves too much, and become scared to be themselves.
We prefer listening, and we’re often not ready and prepared to answer questions. Check the video for my tips on how to have interesting conversations with women.
Master Small Talk (even if you hate it)
Small talk – tedious right?
Unfortunately we’ve gotta go through it. It’s just a social norm, to smooth the transition from strangers until you get to the point of having a deep, meaningful conversation.
You inevitably have to go through small talk until you get to having a more interesting conversation.
Understanding & Control The Frame
Frame is a psychological concept that is utilised a lot in sales. It’s the idea that everyone has their own frame of reference in which they live.
In any conversation or interaction, one persons frame is always going to dominate. All social interaction is hierarchical, and one person is leading.
Either you’re leading her into your world, or being pulled into hers. Trust me, things go a lot better when you’re in your frame…
Be Fun, Have Fun
Too many people take dating way too seriously in my opinion. We could all do to have a bit more fun. Be in the moment more, enjoy the experience for what it is.
Being nervous, trying to impress her, and being too goal oriented is going to kill your enjoyment. You should be aiming to have fun, to be in the moment and connect together.
Don’t Be Too Goal Oriented, Connect
The aim when you’re meeting or dating a women should be to move beyond the goal orientation and focus fully on connecting.
Forget about getting numbers, getting laid, getting a girl to like you, etc. and move onto having fun, being in the moment, and connecting.
This is a process. Especially if you’re coming from a lack of success in this part of your life. The goals will get you moving, but it won’t sustain you forever. The aim should always be to transcend the goal orientation and move onto a focus on connection.
Basic Dating Skills For Introverts
Practice these basic dating skills for introverts to master and you will have better relationships, more connection in your life, and more fun doing it.
Have I missed anything? Leave a question or comment below with your opinions about dating skills for introverts.
Become The Attractive Introvert
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