Find your why if you are not happy with the results you currently produce in your life…
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Find Your Why
You’ve set goals, but have you ever asked why you want to achieve them?
It might seem obvious…but is it?
Why do you really want to lose weight? To earn money?
Connecting with that real, deep, emotional reason why you want to do something creates the inspiration that will drive you forwards to achieve your goals and so much more.
Across any area of your life, having a powerful why allows you to achieve so much more. When you have the drive, you can do the work required to fulfill it. No matter how hard it is, how much you don’t like it, how uncomfortable it is. With sufficient drive, you can do anything.
If you don’t like working out, or you don’t like your job; all the more reason you must connect with your why. If you don’t, of course you’re not going to do the required work.
Why would you do something you don’t like, and don’t have to do?
A why is not just a goal
A goal is an arbitrary way of putting a number and tangible measurement on to the fulfillment of your why. Your real why is based entirely in emotion. It’s very nature is intangible and immeasurable, which is why we use goals as a proxy, to track our progress.
Many people are unhappy in life because their goals do not reflect their own why. They’re following someone else’s why.
Being a good little sheep; getting good grades, accumulating 5-6 figure student debt, getting a soul-sucking office job, marrying a below average woman who hates him, having 2.4 children and waiting to die. Sounds morbid right?
But hey, at least he gets to have his ‘man cave’, fantasy football and internet porn to pacify him.
Fuck being a corporate worker-bee drone to appease the goals of your boss and government.
What do YOU want from life?
Figure that shit out if you ever want to be happy.
Your why is the deep emotional drive you have for the way you want to live your life. It’s based in the things that are of highest value to you…
Finding your values
Do you want to be a corporate slave who spends 40+ hours per week doing something you hate, sitting behind a desk getting fat and as Will likes to say;
“Being told when and where you can sit and stand, shit and piss. When you can eat and what you’re allowed to say or think”.
When you put it like that – which is 100% true – and you consider if you work a productive job you probably take home 5-10 percent of the revenue you generate, it gives a whole new meaning to ‘corporate slavery’, don’t you think?
I doubt you want that. Perhaps you feel obligated to do that because you have a wife, kids, mortgage, car payments. Maybe your parents pressure you into it. Maybe you have just never considered an alternative?
It’s time you consider…
The first thing you must do to live a happy life is understand yourself. Know what you want and why you want it. The vast majority of people don’t,and that’s why 40% of the population, or whatever ridiculous number it is, are depressed.
Even most self-improvement and success oriented material never has you being introspective and asking yourself tough questions to discover who you really are and what you want. Being better at achieving societies’ goals will not make you any happier than if you didn’t bother ‘self-improving’.
Knowledge of yourself is key. Every decision you make in life should be through the filter of your own understanding of self. Most people have approximately zero self-awareness, so they follow the Kardashians and whatever other retardation society feeds them.
When I’m working with a fitness coaching client, much of our work is entirely dedicated to helping you learn who you are and what you want. It holds the key to achieving more in your fitness, as well as any other part of your life. I’m simply using fitness as the vehicle to drive your self-discovery and development through every part of life.
Find your why – run through walls
With a strong sense of your why, you can do anything. Nietzsche recognised this 140 years ago.
I’ve never been as driven as I was when I wanted to gain my freedom. To leave my diary and dingy basement gym behind. To escape the perpetual darkness of London winter and live free. Travel the world, do work that I love and live my own life.
The final few months when I achieved that goal – which had been a goal for 4-5 years, before I really got clarity on how to do it – those last few months I was working 16 hour days and I enjoyed it.
The drive I had made me practically unstoppable.
You can attain this sort of drive too. But only when you really know yourself and what you want. Without knowing that, you’re simply never going to be that driven in pursuing someone else’s goals. The attainment of pointless status symbols might satisfy your ego, but it does nothing for your soul.
How to find your why
I’m going to give you pointers and a checklist to discover your why, but the honest answer is with consistent questioning, new experiences and consistent self-development.
It’s not something you will figure out in 5 minutes. It might take years. Anyway:
- Note the goals you have in life
- Ask yourself why you want to achieve this thing? How will it impact your life?
- Keep asking why like an annoying 7 year old until you cannot go any deeper
- Write it down. Meditate on it, it should feel visceral, emotional
Check the video for an example of how to do this.
When you find your why; utilise it. It is incredibly powerful.
Stick it up places you will see it regularly. Allowing yourself to check in daily on why you’re doing what you are doing is a must, for both consistent achievement and consistent happiness.
Knowing why you are doing something gives your life purpose. Work with no purpose is torture. Literally; in the Nazi concentration camps they would make POW’s carry heavy bags from one end of the compound to the other, and then back again, for no purpose whatsoever.
Pointless hard work is literally torture.
Want to stop torturing yourself? Connect with the purpose behind your work.
Why are you going to the gym?
Why are you building this business?
Why are you in this relationship?