I should be winding down for bed, I have a 7am client, but wanted to get this down whilst it is raw.
I had a photoshoot tonight. I’ve dieted down for 8 weeks to get in the best shape I have ever been in. Around 5% bodyfat.
I was thinking, whilst eating my dinner, that I should probably be binging right now, as per most peoples idea (especially body builders, fitness models, etc.) of how to top off a period of dieting.
There has been times, over the past 2 weeks especially, where I was hungry, I was tired and I was weak.
You know what I did tonight?
Had 100g of quinoa and 4 eggs cooked in butter. It was what I had in the house. Yes, I still weighed my food, it’s completely habit and I only realised afterwards that I didn’t need to. I could have eaten out, ordered in or bought junk food from the shop. I just did not want to.
I’m actually excited to add a few hundred calories per day and slowly gain some weight back whilst staying ripped. No write off week eating shit. I just do not want to.
It Wasn’t Always Like This
I remembered back to when I first started out as a personal trainer and started ‘eating healthy’. I was following a low carb Paleo diet that was all the rage 5-6 years ago. Now, Paleo is a great starting point and is pretty much similar to what I recommend for beginners, but it has evolved over the years and back then the prescription was to be almost zero carb.
One thing I remembered in particular, was my flatmate at the time screaming at me on Saturday morning. I had eaten all of her crisps and dip she had left in the fridge the night before. The majority of a large sharing size bag of crisps and full pot of dip.
I intended to just have a couple, which she would have no problem with. When I started however, I could not stop. I literally could not stop myself eating her food.
I must have put the dip back in the fridge, walked off and gone back to it at least 10 times, “just one or two more”, until it got to the critical point it was taking the piss more to leave a tiny amount in the bottom, so I just had it all.
This was a weekly thing, on a Friday and/or Saturday I would have uncontrollable binges. For probably a year or more this went on. Whatever I bought I would eat all of it. Full packets of biscuits. Whole cakes. I was out of control.
The rest of the week of course I was SO strict. I actually lectured clients and people around me about not bingeing and how eating well for a certain period doesn’t ‘earn’ the right to eat shit for a period. I wasn’t wrong. I was just a huge hypocrite.
It takes time to develop a healthy emotional relationship with food. You have to first get over the chemical addiction and hormonal imbalance. It is completely normal to binge whilst going through this stage once you start eating bad foods.
It is the psychological side that people get wrong, and that keeps people stuck in negative cycles. Feeling bad about themselves, beating themselves up, self-medicating with food and doing it all again next month.
So many personal trainers inadvertently do this to their clients, getting on at them to be perfect and telling them how evil and bad and awful certain foods are. They are giving their clients eating disorders.
You have to feel good about yourself, your body and about food to get to the point I am at now. The thing is though, when you are here you live your life like this and don’t even think about it. On the flip side of that, it will seem daunting to most of you right now.
Let me tell you, if you put in the work to build your health up and build your self-esteem up, you will get here.
You will be ‘that guy/girl’.
We are here for you. Our community will help you through it. Don’t feel that you are the only person who does this. Don’t feel guilt for doing this. Most people are doing it. The people here on this site are going to support you in moving beyond it.
If you would like to overcome binge eating yourself and transform your body and mindset click the image below to find out more about the KickStart Body Transformation now.